Well apparently the problem with my husband was a case of whats good for the goose is good for the gander....Only problem is the gander read the wrong gooses blog!
My husband admits he went to the chat rooms. Not to hook up with any one just to see what they are like and whats out there. He thought I had found some one else and might be leaving him.
Why would he think that?
Because there is another "Little Miss Confused" on blogger. Her blog tells about her heart breaking and talks about having to IM her love and sneak behind some ones back. If he would have actually taken the time to look at what he was reading he would have also noticed the blog was written in 2005. I didn't take on the persona of Little Miss Confused until I started my blog at EFX sometime last fall. Also if he actually listened when I talk about my blog he would have known there is another one out there because I complained and whined when I found out my "name" was taken. It took us a few hours to come up with a new one for this blog.
The other problem comes from us both being computer idiots. He is much like a first grader when it comes to computers...no wait...they might know a little more.
He had no idea what to do when unwanted sites 'pop' up. When I went to the dating site he was trying to get into, several other sites popped up as well. instead of just closing them out, he opened them. So they where there in the history as if he went to them. Now that little problem wouldn't have happened if I had turned on the pop up blocker on this computer.
His explanation of how he even ended up on a dating site made sense too. he knows enough to go to Google and type in what he is looking for. He just wanted a chat room but he didn't want to get stuck talking about school and dating and all that giggly stuff kids talk about so he typed in "adult chat room" Thinking he would then get a room that wasn't full of teeny boppers.
At first I was a little miffed that he would "spy" on my blog. Then I realized that is silly because I have always shared my blog with him. In fact I have tried to get him to start one. He laughed at that because it would take him an eternity to type one up. He still uses the 2 finger hunt and peck system to type.
He did clean the house and cook me supper, not because he was guilty. He said he did it because when he thought I was going to leave him he realized how much he takes me for granted. He felt bad that even after I read all the comments people left regarding me thinking he was cheating, I still baked him chocolate chip cookies and still got up every morning to make his lunch he brings to work.
Oh by the way Cam....good thing your blog says you live in Zimbabwe. For some reason he took the most offense to your comment. I think because it made sense. He was always quick to tell me that the guys I meet thru blogging are only after one thing...sex. The more of our blogs he reads, the more I think he knows that not to be true.
In a weird way it made me feel good to know he was a little jealous. I think that was the one thing that always bothered me when we would talk about threesomes. I always said I didn't know if I could handle seeing another person touch him and make him feel good...I was afraid I would turn into mean Ma Ma bear and rip the other person to shreds. He always said it wouldn't make any difference to him. I guess I felt that he didn't love me enough to want me for himself. I was wrong. He said he thought since i was so wild in my youth, he didn't think HE was enough for me. He thought I might need more. (good golly..any MORE and I would never leave the bedroom!)
So after a few tears and laughs we talked it out. Things are good in my life again.........
Now if I could only figure out what happened to all the blogs!
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Friday, September 14, 2007
Today I had to work 7am-12:30pm. I usually like that shift. It's not a long one and it usually goes by pretty fast. Today it was one of the longest days I have ever worked, or at least it seemed like it. The store hired a new cashier. He is in his late 40's, single, works part time at a clothing store and is oriental.
I am not one to be prejudice so don't jump to conclusions about why I have mentioned he is oriental. The only reason this has anything to do with the story is that he has a VERY thick oriental accent. words with "L" come out as "R". So I am RISA not Lisa. Any how...
He started at 8am today. Our cashier supervisor did not start until 9:30am. So I was stuck having to train him in. There was no other cashier on duty, just me. Friday mornings can get very busy. Most customers are only buying a few items like donuts and coffee, but there are enough of them that I don't have time to do anything other then scan the groceries, put them in a bag, and collect money.
Today I had to explain every step I made. If I pushed a button on the register I had to tell my newbie what I was doing and why. I had to explain to him every little detail in the cashiering process including how to properly bag groceries.
I don't mind training, I just don't like to do it when I am the only cashier and it is busy. I feel the customer suffers because it will take twice as long to get them out of the store. I also feel the new employee suffers because in my effort to get the customer out the door fast, I might overlook something I should have explained.
The other problem we had was I guess you would call it a cultural difference. My newbie had only been in the United States for 6 years, He was born and raised in Japan. Every time he made a mistake he would stop what he was doing, apologize and bow to the customer. I could tell many of the customers where surprised by this. The town is very small and very rural. Many of our customers come from farms that have been around for many generations.
The other issue was his accent. He spoke English well enough. I could tell at times he was searching his brain for words, but his accent made it hard for some customers to understand him. I myself had to ask him to repeat things several times.
I did my best to make him feel welcome and showed him as much as I could while still trying to keep the customer happy. I think it should be the supervisors job to train in the new cashiers, not mine.
On a totally different subject.....
My husband didn't have to work yesterday. I did. I know he reads my blog and I have nothing to hide from him on here. Even when I rant about him, I know there is a chance he might read it. When EFX went down I knew because my husband said he tried to get on my blog and it wouldn't let him. I'm sure he thought I did something to block him from it.
We have never kept secrets from each other. At least not recently. After we spilled our guts to each other about our pasts last summer we vowed to never keep secrets (except what we are getting each other for Christmas).
When I got home from work yesterday I asked my husband what he had done on his day off. He told me he just sat on the couch and played his baseball game on the play station. That and took the dogs out several times.
Today when I hopped on the computer to check the e-mails and catch up on everyones blogs I got a little surprise in my e-mails in box. It was a confirmation from an adult dating service! They sent me my user name and password. So of course I went to the site to see what "I" had been doing.
Apparently Some one using my computer (must be hubby...I don't think the dogs know how) Is a single white male looking for a single female. He didn't seem to be too fussy. The profile said he doesn't care about their weight, hair color, skin color or age.
This little shocker had me checking the history on my computer. I don't think hubby knows I can do that. To my surprise he visited several chat rooms, a few porn sites and just about every blog I had linked on this page. Including the one at EFX. I'm guessing just to make sure it really doesn't work.
I'm not really sure what that all means. I don't know why he didn't tell me he was on the computer. I don't know if I should ask him about it or not. I'm not really mad about it, maybe a little hurt that he would go to a dating service and pretend he is single. I'm not really sure what to think about the adult chat rooms. He still can't believe we all "talk" to each other and it's not always sex related.
I wouldn't even be a bit concerned if it wasn't for a comment he made last night after we had watched a TV show that was talking about women in Iran and the fact that if a women commits adultery the punishment is death, yet the males can have more then one wife. After he heard that he told me "You only get one husband but you can have as many lovers as you want". At the time I just laughed and told him I didn't want any lovers...just him.
Now I am wondering if that was his way of trying to tell me he wants to experiment with some one else. We had talked about it before but always said we could never go off by ourselves and have sex with some one else. We agreed it would have to be a threesome and we both would have to be present at all times. Now I'm wondering if he wants to know what else is out there.
I'm almost afraid to ask him about it. I'm afraid he will tell me if he can't go to chat rooms, then I can't blog. I have nothing against chat rooms, its just that if he thinks all we do in "blog land" is talk about sex, then he must be talking sex on the chats. I know he has had cyber sex with some one. even though he doesn't even know it. I walked in one day and he was typing on the screen what he would do to the girl. When I asked him about it he justed laughed it off and said he was just having a little fun, it didn't mean anything by it. His rationing was that it was probably some bored house wife just looking for a little excitement, it wasn't like he actually knew the person.
Part of me is suspicious, part of me is hurt. I'm just not sure if this is something i should worry about or not.
I am not one to be prejudice so don't jump to conclusions about why I have mentioned he is oriental. The only reason this has anything to do with the story is that he has a VERY thick oriental accent. words with "L" come out as "R". So I am RISA not Lisa. Any how...
He started at 8am today. Our cashier supervisor did not start until 9:30am. So I was stuck having to train him in. There was no other cashier on duty, just me. Friday mornings can get very busy. Most customers are only buying a few items like donuts and coffee, but there are enough of them that I don't have time to do anything other then scan the groceries, put them in a bag, and collect money.
Today I had to explain every step I made. If I pushed a button on the register I had to tell my newbie what I was doing and why. I had to explain to him every little detail in the cashiering process including how to properly bag groceries.
I don't mind training, I just don't like to do it when I am the only cashier and it is busy. I feel the customer suffers because it will take twice as long to get them out of the store. I also feel the new employee suffers because in my effort to get the customer out the door fast, I might overlook something I should have explained.
The other problem we had was I guess you would call it a cultural difference. My newbie had only been in the United States for 6 years, He was born and raised in Japan. Every time he made a mistake he would stop what he was doing, apologize and bow to the customer. I could tell many of the customers where surprised by this. The town is very small and very rural. Many of our customers come from farms that have been around for many generations.
The other issue was his accent. He spoke English well enough. I could tell at times he was searching his brain for words, but his accent made it hard for some customers to understand him. I myself had to ask him to repeat things several times.
I did my best to make him feel welcome and showed him as much as I could while still trying to keep the customer happy. I think it should be the supervisors job to train in the new cashiers, not mine.
On a totally different subject.....
My husband didn't have to work yesterday. I did. I know he reads my blog and I have nothing to hide from him on here. Even when I rant about him, I know there is a chance he might read it. When EFX went down I knew because my husband said he tried to get on my blog and it wouldn't let him. I'm sure he thought I did something to block him from it.
We have never kept secrets from each other. At least not recently. After we spilled our guts to each other about our pasts last summer we vowed to never keep secrets (except what we are getting each other for Christmas).
When I got home from work yesterday I asked my husband what he had done on his day off. He told me he just sat on the couch and played his baseball game on the play station. That and took the dogs out several times.
Today when I hopped on the computer to check the e-mails and catch up on everyones blogs I got a little surprise in my e-mails in box. It was a confirmation from an adult dating service! They sent me my user name and password. So of course I went to the site to see what "I" had been doing.
Apparently Some one using my computer (must be hubby...I don't think the dogs know how) Is a single white male looking for a single female. He didn't seem to be too fussy. The profile said he doesn't care about their weight, hair color, skin color or age.
This little shocker had me checking the history on my computer. I don't think hubby knows I can do that. To my surprise he visited several chat rooms, a few porn sites and just about every blog I had linked on this page. Including the one at EFX. I'm guessing just to make sure it really doesn't work.
I'm not really sure what that all means. I don't know why he didn't tell me he was on the computer. I don't know if I should ask him about it or not. I'm not really mad about it, maybe a little hurt that he would go to a dating service and pretend he is single. I'm not really sure what to think about the adult chat rooms. He still can't believe we all "talk" to each other and it's not always sex related.
I wouldn't even be a bit concerned if it wasn't for a comment he made last night after we had watched a TV show that was talking about women in Iran and the fact that if a women commits adultery the punishment is death, yet the males can have more then one wife. After he heard that he told me "You only get one husband but you can have as many lovers as you want". At the time I just laughed and told him I didn't want any lovers...just him.
Now I am wondering if that was his way of trying to tell me he wants to experiment with some one else. We had talked about it before but always said we could never go off by ourselves and have sex with some one else. We agreed it would have to be a threesome and we both would have to be present at all times. Now I'm wondering if he wants to know what else is out there.
I'm almost afraid to ask him about it. I'm afraid he will tell me if he can't go to chat rooms, then I can't blog. I have nothing against chat rooms, its just that if he thinks all we do in "blog land" is talk about sex, then he must be talking sex on the chats. I know he has had cyber sex with some one. even though he doesn't even know it. I walked in one day and he was typing on the screen what he would do to the girl. When I asked him about it he justed laughed it off and said he was just having a little fun, it didn't mean anything by it. His rationing was that it was probably some bored house wife just looking for a little excitement, it wasn't like he actually knew the person.
Part of me is suspicious, part of me is hurt. I'm just not sure if this is something i should worry about or not.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Another test
Ok so the subscribe thingy isn't doing what I want it to do. I subscribed to my own blog again. This time to see what happens in the Google reader thing. Dang but it is going to look like I am full of myself! At least I know I have one reader!
Test
This is just a test.....
I subscribed to my own blog to see what happens.....
If you had this and this was a real blog you would know about it before you got here!
Now if i could figure out how to track all those dang comments on other blogs! I keep going to everyones blogs to read other peoples comments. I feel like a stalker!
I subscribed to my own blog to see what happens.....
If you had this and this was a real blog you would know about it before you got here!
Now if i could figure out how to track all those dang comments on other blogs! I keep going to everyones blogs to read other peoples comments. I feel like a stalker!
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Fresh start
I'm starting to get used to this place. I miss my comment alerts. It's hard to keep a conversation going when you forget where you have been. I keep stopping in at peoples blogs and see what other comments people have left. It feels like you have entered the room in mid story. I'm sure the sense of "community" will come back, it will just take some time.
I think I have found just about every one I was looking for....Peter aka Dr Dog I don't know where your blog is. Your profile is not public so there is no link to go to. I think I found you but the last post was in 2002!
I entered my old name "Littlemissconfused" and was surprised to see there is another one! Gee...I thought I was unique! I guess there is another one out there just as confused as me and if you stopped in there thinking you found me...Well now she is even more confused!
I changed the title of my blog from "My Fucked Up Life" to "My life...I'm living it" because I decided my life isn't all that fucked up. It may have been that way many years ago, but right now it's pretty good. I may not be doing what other people think I should be doing....but what the hell....My life...I'm living it!
I think I have found just about every one I was looking for....Peter aka Dr Dog I don't know where your blog is. Your profile is not public so there is no link to go to. I think I found you but the last post was in 2002!
I entered my old name "Littlemissconfused" and was surprised to see there is another one! Gee...I thought I was unique! I guess there is another one out there just as confused as me and if you stopped in there thinking you found me...Well now she is even more confused!
I changed the title of my blog from "My Fucked Up Life" to "My life...I'm living it" because I decided my life isn't all that fucked up. It may have been that way many years ago, but right now it's pretty good. I may not be doing what other people think I should be doing....but what the hell....My life...I'm living it!
Sunday, September 9, 2007
Moving in
I miss EFX. I knew how to get to everyones blog. If there was nothing new to read I could brows thru the latest entries. If I was bored I could go to the arcade. One stupid game I got hooked on was "Angel Mart" I almost took over first place. Just a few more games and I would have had it.
I had another blog some place else and quit using it. They made it too difficult to "play" there. People my husband knew found it and it became a part of the life every one sees on the outside. My Efx blog was what went on in my head and heart. It was as close to letting the "real" me loose as I dared to go.
I'm still trying to get this one to feel like home. Finding some of my friends again is helping with that.
I'll get used to this and adapt. I just might be very cranky about it over the next few days.....I don't adjust to change well!
I really miss the smilies....I was looking forward to the "custom smilies" feature on efx coming back. Just before they started changing things I was figuring out how to use it!
I had another blog some place else and quit using it. They made it too difficult to "play" there. People my husband knew found it and it became a part of the life every one sees on the outside. My Efx blog was what went on in my head and heart. It was as close to letting the "real" me loose as I dared to go.
I'm still trying to get this one to feel like home. Finding some of my friends again is helping with that.
I'll get used to this and adapt. I just might be very cranky about it over the next few days.....I don't adjust to change well!
I really miss the smilies....I was looking forward to the "custom smilies" feature on efx coming back. Just before they started changing things I was figuring out how to use it!
Saturday, September 8, 2007
Whew! I thought it was my computer. Instead it was just the blog.
Then it hit me.
It wasn't just "the blog".
It was a group of people I looked forward to "talking" to. It was the people I turned to when I didn't know where else to go. It was a group of people who gave support. It was my friends.
It was a place to go to when I was bored. The arcade could suck away lonely hours.
It was a safe place to go when dark thoughts needed an outlet.
It was like my very own room to decorate and redecorate.
It was my diary.
It was a window to my soul.
I hope we all find each other. There are some of you out there that have no idea how much your comments and blogs became a part of my life. I have never met any of you in person but I do consider you friends. I have told my blog more about myself then I have told any one else. If you have been there from the beginning...Thanks! If your just starting out....Welcome!
Enjoy the trip....I'm sure it will be a long one ;)
Then it hit me.
It wasn't just "the blog".
It was a group of people I looked forward to "talking" to. It was the people I turned to when I didn't know where else to go. It was a group of people who gave support. It was my friends.
It was a place to go to when I was bored. The arcade could suck away lonely hours.
It was a safe place to go when dark thoughts needed an outlet.
It was like my very own room to decorate and redecorate.
It was my diary.
It was a window to my soul.
I hope we all find each other. There are some of you out there that have no idea how much your comments and blogs became a part of my life. I have never met any of you in person but I do consider you friends. I have told my blog more about myself then I have told any one else. If you have been there from the beginning...Thanks! If your just starting out....Welcome!
Enjoy the trip....I'm sure it will be a long one ;)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
